If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
— Henry David Thoreau
I have lived by this principle my entire life because I have always seen the world differently then most people and yes I have also fallen into the trap of trying to shape people into what I felt they should be.
From experience I can tell you that trying to control another persons life; even if you think you are helping them is a one way ticket to destruction for yourself and them. Recently, I have had the experience of having another person judge me... and accusing me of being a fraud and of being arrogant. This is not the first time this happened to me... I have been called a charlatan and this was my personal favorite because I thought charlatans actually make money on what they are doing? LOL
I'm not really sure how I can be a fraud either since I dont make any money and I make no claims on anything I do. I personally live by the ideal that I am in the now of the moment and whatever pops into my head I do... I like many of you out there have been accused of a great many things and have been called many names. It's interesting because I personally want to allow everybody to be whatever it is they feel they need to be in their lives... Even if my EGO wants to try to judge it .. I remind my EGO that whatever it is they are doing has nothing to do with me and it's not my life.
A great saying I love is:
"Not my circus not my monkey..." Meaning whatever is going on with that person is none of my business and it's not my place to try to control it.
Each one of your reading this have been called names, had someone talk about you behind your back, you have been judged and criticized...It's not an easy experience to go through.. and the way to find peace in all of this is to know who you are... You see it's easy for me to admit that my principle is to live and let live and to also admit that I practice this everyday. Meaning.... I fuck up sometimes (yes I said that word.. Get over it! It's a word... )
The truth is all of us are practicing down here and none of us got this all right all the time.. something may be your principle and you can also not have it down pat 100 % of the time. It's time for us all to lighten up and allow ourselves to live! The following passage from the book: Please Understand Me; I think sums up what I am talking about nicely:
If I do not want what you want, please try not to tell me that my want is wrong.
Or if I believe other than you, at least pause before you correct my view.
Or if my emotion is less than yours, or more, given the same circumstances, try not to ask me to feel more strongly or weakly.
Or yet if I act, or fail to act, in the manner of your design for action, let me be.
I do not, for the moment at least, ask you to understand me. That will come only when you are willing to give up changing me into a copy of you.
I may be your spouse, your parent, your offspring, your friend, or your colleague. If you will allow me any of my own wants, or emotions, or beliefs, or actions, then you open yourself, so that some day these ways of mine might not seem so wrong, and might finally appear to you as right -- for me. To put up with me is the first step to understanding me. Not that you embrace my ways as right for you, but that you are no longer irritated or disappointed with me for my seeming waywardness. And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you, and, far from seeking to change me, preserve and even nurture those differences.
I've found more love in my life by just loving people... Even my enemies as a matter a fact when you love your enemies you give them no place to go.. basically no place to complain about you..and I have also lived the life of always being upset and always making judgments on others. From personal experience... loving people even for all of their faults is a much easier road.. and guess what? as you practice loving them.. you wont be able to help but love yourself.. as you lighten up and allow them to be them! you will start to do the same thing for yourself!
So lighten the FUCK up! and Live life to the fullest! :)
I love you all :)