Sunday, November 08, 2015

"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off."



I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately and pondering my life especially the last 9 almost 10 years...Thinking about all of the lives I have came into contact with, the moments that have humbled me and helped shape who I am today. 

The life I live right now is perfect... I have never been happier.. and because of that I still ponder and explore my inner thoughts. Who am I and where have I come from.. How do I lead people and how am I led?

Looking back I realize the biggest part of what made me unhappy was the fact I did not want to face all of who I was.. this meant when I was upset I wanted to get away from that feeling as fast as possible. When I was happy I never wanted it to end and when something went bad I wanted to bury it under the rug and not look at it.... This kind of behavior does not warrant a happy blissful outcome in life. We have to take responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and emotions as well as actions and not only do we take responsibility for them we embrace them and we welcome them. Love and acceptance of all of who we are is what shapes the "wholeness" of who we are and this is what forms great leaders, great spiritual teachers and just well rounded spiritual beings. This kind of behavior brings us into "oneness" with our body, mind and spirit.

I used the above quote from Collin Powell which states: 


"Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off." 

YES! This is so very true and I will add on to this the next quote which goes with his following statement: 



"Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It's inevitable if you're honourable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: You'll avoid the tough decisions, you'll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you'll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset. Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally "nicely" regardless of their contributions, you'll simply ensure that the only people you'll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization."


You might be asking yourself what does his statements have to do with being "Happy" and me pondering about my life? Well the avoidance of situations also came with no wanting to rock the boat and also telling people how I felt even when it might upset them. This added to my hardship of not being okay with my life and I realize it was because I was not being authentic with myself. In turn if we can't be honest with ourselves how can we possibly be honest with others? This also goes into how can you love others if you can't love yourself? and how can you be a strong leader for others if you can't be one for yourself?

This leads me to this statement in the bible from Psalms 23:

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." 

This along with a few versus up in Psalms 23 it says:

""Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Now the opening statement in Psalms 23 states:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quite waters, he refreshes my soul."

You can get the whole chapter at this link: Click here

So let's put this all together with what Collin Powell said the bible and my pondering... Psalms 23 is about an inner journey and the "LORD" is your inner world your "SOUL" and when you align with your soul then the body, "MIND" (father) and Soul come into oneness and then you have your complete self and then when your complete self comes into alignment then it guides you through life. It will protect you and make sure you have enough. This is what walking through the darkest valley is all about.. you may have a "STORM" going on around you but you know for a fact that you are taken care of.... so because of this "CUP" as stated is about the "EXTRA" when you are full and your cup overflows then that is what you give out to others and that is how we give back the world when we have achieved wholeness.

Interesting part of what most do not know is when they are not whole they will try to lead other or speak to others about their truth and then when others attack at them or rebel against their message it will hurt them. This hurt will happen because they are not secure in their own message and in reality they are not secure with who they are...

So as you go on this journey and begin to be whole you will then begin to be a leader in this world and as you do this you will be thinking of other people because you will hold yourself accountable.

You will learn what will work for you and what won't work for you.. if you are in a leadership role with a title or where you lead people professionally you will know you will have to hold them accountable as well. Not because you ant to hurt them or because you think you are better then them but because you know that being responsible you will have to say something out of love... Love does not watch something and allow it to happen without at least saying something.

In the end we do not want to effect someones free will but we say something in order so they can be aware.. they may not receive your message and it may piss them off but you have held them accountable much like you have held yourself accountable. So you practice on yourself so that you are strong in your interactions with others.

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