Thursday, January 02, 2014

IQ or EQ??? .. Intelligence Quotient or Emotional Intelligence Quotient... Your Power to Choose! Be Empowered!

I have been exploring the theories of emotional intelligence for a good number of years. It has been a serious passion of mine to discover the depths of how our mind works. Years ago as a Corporate Trainer I taught and designed several classes that dealt with Improving Moral, Emotional Health, Motivation, Time Management, Relationship Management, Coaching, Listening Skills, Communication, Navigating Change and the list goes on and on and on...


In addition, to the many Sermons I have given as a minister, spiritual development classes i've taught as a spiritual teacher all of them centered around one recurring theme that when we have high levels of understanding of our emotions and what some would call a level of Emotional Intelligence then all the above subjects fall into place.

So what is Emotional Intelligence? The definition of Emotional Intelligence is the following:

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.

Taken from this site: Click Here


Emotional Intelligence - two aspects

From this website: Click Here

This is the essential premise of EQ: to be successful requires the effective awareness, control and management of one's own emotions, and those of other people. EQ embraces two aspects of intelligence:

  • Understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behaviour and all.
  • Understanding others, and their feelings.

In Daniel Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" he breaks the stages of Emotion intelligence down into 5 domains:
  • Knowing your emotions.
  • Managing your own emotions.
  • Motivating yourself.
  • Recognising and understanding other people's emotions.
  • Managing relationships, i.e., managing the emotions of others.
Now we understand the the basics of what emotional intelligence is, we also know the stages/domains of an emotionally intelligent individual. I want us to go even deeper, and this is because on the surface we can think we found the answer but even at our deepest level of understanding there as an even deeper place to go. Much like the fact that there is always something to learn there is also much deeper levels of consciousness within our psyche that we can go into and this journey is the greatest journey we will ever take. So my question to you is: How far down the Rabbit Hole do you want to go? Well let's dive in with this quote in the picture below: 


The first time I heard Dr. Dispenza say this quote (in the movie "What the Bleep Do we Know?") it just blew my mind away. The thought to me that there was so much happening around me that I was not seeing with my physical senses totally changed my world. Now here is why this very quote is so amazing in our discussion about emotional intelligence: if we have that much information or stimulus happening around us each second. It would be incorrect of us to think it was not causing some kind of reaction within our psyche or energy field. 

That is a significant amount of stimulus to process... when we take a look at the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People a book I have taught a great deal over the many years. When we take these principles into a deeper level we then begin realize, the First habit of being "Proactive" now has new meaning. How so? Well it is apparent to me that as we have stimulus that is happening that is both what we can see and what we can't see... and that our brain is processing 400 billion bits of information per second but we are only aware of 2,000 bits of information per second then it led's me to the next step of how do I work on the stimulus that I am not aware of? 

So with that being said.. it's obvious to say that as things are happening in our lives that we have constant stimulus and then there is a response what has happened... 

Much like the illustration above shows something happens we respond. So we can't get away from that.. even not doing something is a form of a response. So the next step is to look at it from the perspective of what to do... so let's take a look at the next illustration:

In this illustration we are shown that we still have the stimulus but between the response we  have the power to  CHOOSE our response. So does this happen over night? The reality is that we live in a world of immediate "REACTION" and because of that we have marriages ending, business's failing, countries fighting, racism, hate and anger, Serious mental and physical illness happening within our world. 

When we make a CHOICE to become Self Aware of the reasons why we are responding certain stimulus the same way over and over again and look deep within ourselves about the reactions that are happening, what our emotional state is, what it is doing to our bodies and we practice conscience choices instead of just the immediate reactions then we begin to empower ourselves and regain our lives and we become the "LORD" over our own personal emotional dominion. 

We do this by using our mirrors, using a daily meditation time with a time to self-reflect and process our day.

Some of you are that are reading this are having an immediate reaction of "I don't have time to do this."

My question to you is this... What VALUE do you put on your emotional success? What would it take for you to invest more time into you then whatever it is that is taking your time away from your own happiness?

Here is what we do as we use our mirrors... our SOUL is going to bring us the lessons we need to learn on a constant basis and with that being said anything that makes you want to have a knee jerk reaction is what you want to take a look at.. so if your spouse, co-worker, friend or relative upset you and even make you want to lash out at them. If you are spending to much time dwelling on what is happening with another person and the issue is running over and over again in our your mind. Guess what? Your soul just brought to the surface a stimulus to take a look at and now you get to make a choice on how you respond. Now... however, you respond it's going to be perfect.. meaning that if you lashed out at someone then you already know you have a place to go "LOOK" and process in order to find out why you lashed out. 

Lessons like this will surface daily,  and the soul will bring to you what your body is reacting to even on a level of what you can't see....When your Mind, Body and Soul click together and you realize their oneness then this process becomes the joy it was meant to be.

Once you master the inner world and what it is reacting to on a cosmic level then the lessons that  you can see with your physical senses will begin to stop and will become less and less. The stimulus may continue to happen around you but you will become as some would say the: Stillness in the Storm, this is when your mind, body and soul come into oneness.



The question is what reflection do you want to see? The one that is broken, the one that is deceiving you based on the story you are telling yourself or the one that is telling you the truth? In healing work what you are going to want to look at is the truth and as Jesus has taught in: John 8:32

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Because once we have faced the truth and once we have walked through the hell of darkness (un-awareness) we have created for ourselves then we will really begin to heal.

The mirrors let allow us through the experience of life to bring things forward for us to look at... so understand that the person that is annoying you is really is a blessing and a gift.. they are giving you the gift of looking at yourself...

In this process we will look at and let go of the principles of what is right and wrong, we will being to understand our emotions and we will learn to understand that everyone is on their own path. This is the path to balancing out our emotions and understanding why we have them in every aspect of our lives.

So practice these habits everyday:

1. Meditate, allow your mind to quiet and ask your soul to bring forth the lessons you need to face today
2. Make conscious choices on your responses you make daily, make this your every moment practice
3. Take time each day maybe after your meditation, to process and reflect on your mirrors.
4. make a commitment to make mirror work your daily and every moment practice
5. Make you a PRIORITY!
6. Enjoy this work can be fun if you let it be. The road to healing is a bumpy ride and once you get over the bumps it becomes a life of surfing so enjoy the roller coaster and then enjoy surfing! :) Ride the WAVE!

Happy New Years 2014
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