Sunday, April 26, 2009

Recovering From Fear - By: Jeremy McDonald

In the last few years what I have been on is a journey of self discovery. One of the things that I have learned about myself is that I have spent a good majority of my life making judgments, and decisions in fear.

Many of the decisions I have made were based on the fact that the base emotioninside of me was FEAR. I think one of the greatest gifts that I have been given was the opportunity to come to that self realization. My journey in theyears since August of 2006 has been some of the most beautiful days of my life. I have had many major epiphanies and what I have realized is that much of the world, including myself, live in the reactive mode of trying to maintain our security. It makes me want to ask the questions. Where did this FEAR come from?How did it come about?

What modern day science is discovering is that we are the direct reflection of the thoughts and feelings we have in our mind and hearts. So where do these feelings come from? They could come from a number of things … This evening I had the tremendous benefit of hearing a wonderful speaker teach about the fact that we learn many of these fears as a child, some even as a very small baby. The interesting part of this is that babies, when they are first born, do not understand language, they only understand feelings, coming to them from their parents. If they experience neglect, then that feeling will trail throughout their entire life, and affect their sense of security. This will create a potential fear of abandonment and acceptance. When I thought about my own life, I thought that I had a wonderful family, this could not have possibly affected me! What I did not realize is that a baby could misunderstand even the smallest thing, which wouldcreate this feeling in their lives. One of the first milestones that and infant must accomplish in their development is Trust vs Mistrust. An infant needs toknow that when they cry, their mother or father will come and help them. Theyneed to develop that bond with their parents in order to feel secure. There are other developmental milestones along the way of growing up for a child. Each must be accomplished, in order for a child to have a healthy andwhole emotional life when they are adults.

We must also realize that language only makes up only 7 % of our communication skills, and body language makes up 55 %. Voice inflection or feelings make up 38 % of communication. What is fascinating about this is that in our culture, we put such an emphasis on words and language. We create wars because of ourinterpretation of the Bible or other holy books, such as the Qur’an. We fightover the constitution, laws, politics, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientationetc. All based on 7 % of our communication skills! We shun the ideaof using our intuition or instincts which would allow us to look beyond thephysical, and get the feelings behind the words. This is astounding to me! I do not understand why we do not communicate in a way that will help us understand each other on a much higher level.

Today I saw an article that was talking about civil rights being taken away by the current presidential administration. Lately all I have heard people talk about is fear about the economy, jobs going to India etc. What people need to understand about this type of focus is that when we let fear of these things occupy our thoughts and our conversations constantly, then we will see these things happening more and more. There is a saying out there that goes like this: “that which you resist persists.” What this means basically is that if we continue to put energy into the FEAR of losing something, then we will be in a state of losing rights, jobs, money, etc., over and over again. As a collective, we will create a reality in which there is a failing economy, people losing jobs, money, and homes. If youlook throughout history what you will see is the same things happening over andover again based on people’s fears. I say that it’s time to change this cycle! We are all divine creators and it’s time that we started acting like it!! We are not subject to fate and none of us are victims!! Instead let’s find peace within ourselves, and then relax and let the abundance flow. We can have everything we need to live joyful, happy lives if we just relax, and let it happen. When we can find that peace and security within ourselves then we will begin to create peace and abundance for the world. Scientists are nowproving that we are all “One” we are all apart of what they call the quantumfield or matrix (some might want to call this GOD). Modern science has also proven that our thoughts and intents can affect this field directly, and that this has a direct affect on our reality! So understanding that we are all “One” allowsus to understand how one person can create change just by how we feel.

As I sit here and write this very article I think about the misunderstandings I have had in my life, with my last lover, business partner, friends, family, etc. How upset I was at what other people had done! What I have found is that in each occurrence, if I looked at both sides, I could see clearly that each person was speaking but neither was looking at the feelings behind what was being said I would have had a better sense of clarity. In each situation we were focusing only upon the words that were being said. Both parties were talking and acting with their insecurities as well as their fears and as a result reacting to them.

Then I realized how I could change all of this, and lead a peaceful life, filled with love, joy and abundance. I realized that I no longer had to hold onto the fears that had made me upset in the first place. You see, when we are communicating, we often take the words that others are saying personally and react from fear that our reputation, or something else will be taken away from us. This is usually thebasis of anger. Some people have justified their anger to me, saying that “sometimes we need to react and be angry to defend ourselves.” The only thing I want to say back to them is this: “ask yourself if you are reacting from fear or love? If you are reacting from fear then you might consider why you are reacting this way before you actually act upon your feelings.” You see, there are only two base emotions and they are FEAR and LOVE. Every other emotion comes from these two base emotions. So the real question is, which one do you want to operate from? Do you want to continue living in a place of FEAR in which you are constantly trying to maintain your security, and you are always afraid you will lose it? Or do you want to operate from a peaceful loving state? What I realize is that security, freedom, and peacefulness are a state of mind. Even in the worst situations we can still choose our state of mind. One of my favorite figures in history is Viktor Frankl. He was a man that was born in ....Austria....,of Jewish descent. He lived from 1905 to 1996, and he was a prisoner in the Nazi Death Camps during World War II. He taught us one very important lesson. That lesson is this: As sentient, thinking, feeling beings we have one freedom that no one can ever take away from us. This is the powerto choose our own reaction to any given situation that we find ourselvesin. In other words no one can take away how we choose to feel our experience. So even though Dr. Frankl could not change the fact that he was living in a deathcamp, he could choose how he would react to it. So instead of living in FEAR he chose to fill his life with love, compassion, and joy and make the very best of his situation. He spent his days trying to give this very feeling to the others around him. What this man teaches is a very important lesson that we all need to hear. Instead of being enslaved by our fears we can choose to be liberated from them, and choose how we live in our experience. He chose to live from loveinstead of FEAR. Another shining example of this kind of choice is the current Dalai Lama. Even though he is in exile from his home he chose to live a life of love and compassion and not anger and FEAR.

These are just men like us but they have realized that theyare divine creators just like we are! They have chosen to create a world in which they are not enslaved by fear but are instead liberated by love.

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